lunaEnGrey

Hi all,

I've finally decided that as of today I'll cease my own cosplay activities. I'm sorry to friends who I've promise to cosplay with, but it has came to a point that I could not move anymore.

What came to this decision is not entirely bad. Mainly I want to spend more time concreting my goals in life, and to lessen the stress that has been accumulating which has currently starting to take effect on my mental health. Therefore there is a need to sacrifice something for my well being. I put it as a sacrfice as I dont like "normal" people to have this thinking that I have come to a realization.

Nevertheless, I've enjoyed all cosplay moments for these 10 years, and I'm sure that I've spend my youth wisely XD

I hope to remain as friends to all whom I have known during these years! Please continue to mesmerize me with all the wonderful cosplay!!!

Thanks alot!

with regards,

It just pass 10 years since my pre~official debut on the 30th Dec 2000. It's actually my third attempt in cosplaying, but the 1st 2 were really of negative 100 standard T-T. Official cosplay event I went to in 10th June 2001 was the 1st biggest J-rock gathering that time, and 080602 event was the 1st J-rock cosplay event to be held in conjunction with streetfest XD. The Graffiti cafe and Heeren used to be our hangout until the management decided not to have us there anymore, and the Graffiti cafe evolve to something else T____T The early days was always fun as the group was very small and everyone would pack together at the cafe and start taking photographs without concern of the background, grouping etc. Everyone can take picture with anyone, anywhere. Most of us would be taking picture with our own film cameras, hence each roll fully contains precious pictures of our cosplay~~~ >____< We would then arrange a day after the event for photo viewing and ordering (I really have the photos develop out the next day for that purpose >_____< ) That's the old day lah, FUN~~~~~~

My average costume count is around 2-3 costume per year, so in total I dont have a remarkable result in cosplay though its been so long, and I'm a very lazy person~~~~~ But what kept me going should be the challenge in the improvement of the New gen cosplay(If that's what its known), I'm still learning to keep up, though I dont know for how long would I still be cosing.....

The journey started when one of the J-rock chatters in IRC organised a mini gathering for J-rock lovers, it's the lunatic_singapore meeting on 18th June 2000. Cosplaying is encouraged but only a few cats appeared in costumes.....and we all buang lah hahahhahaa ~~~~~ The first consplay contact I came into was a Fans cosplay page in one of the J-rock magazine. At first I was amazed by "how did the fans managed to get the "J-rocker" to pose for them???~~~~" and one pic the cosplayer was eating ramen and I was like O.O (even managed to get this kind of pic???!!~~~~~) but I realised a few picture of the same image but the faces looks different, that's how I realised its fans dressing up as idol and then came to know cosplay XD

My first costume is from Toshiya's Myaku image. I asked my mum how to do basic draft and show her the costume I wanna do. My mum thought Toshiya is a girl haha, and she think the costume is very beautiful too XD But I correct her that Toshiya is a guy lah haha. I remember the 1st 2 costume I do, the cloth I used were lining fabric OTL yeah, cheap and torn easily ^^'' cos I stepped on my 2nd costume accidently and it tore a hole "OTL. I hand sew all my costumes till I learned the machine (actually I enjoy hand sew cos can watch TV at the same time XDDDD) I went to the School of Fashion design in NAFA and learned more professional drafting and sewing technique, hence after graduating and working for a few years i took on 2 years of free lance on costume commissioning. Usually people would feel its a waste to study 3 years in Fashion course and not doing anything related, but the truth is I dont really like Fashion and its working. My passion lies in construction and creation process, hence I really like to do costume haha XD

and now! I thought I can save the journal entry as a draft!!!!! T_____T ok I'll end with a rough list of what I've done, and next time will try to do a collage of it (if i dont feel lazy ^^''')

Let see:

180600: Myaku Toshiya (Dir en grey) (buang)
--> should be a Sugizo cosplay but I step on the costume and tore it -____-
301200: Tsumi to Batsu Toshiya
100601: Myaku Toshiya (Dir en grey)(remake new costume)
291201: dear....XXX Miyabi (due le quartz)
080602: Garden Toshiya Dir en grey)
--> dressed as Toshiya in suit (concert version) for my school project
--> Myaku Kaoru (Dir en grey)
streetfest 0?: One of the Nightmare memebers >___< (J-rock)
cosfest 2002: Kurama fox version (Yuyu Hakusho)(total CF for this too)
cosfest 0?(I believe its 03): Chobits Chi with Kagetsuki as Freya
cosfest 0?: Bara suisou (Rozen Maiden)

the reason why I can have some of the dates is I have the photos developed, the rest of the list would be a rough list cos ^^'

-->Lulu (FFX)
-->Baiken (Guilty Gear)
-->Benkei (Air gear)
EOY'07: Sailor Neptune (with outer senshi)
Streetfest'08: Tsumi Die (dir en grey)
Matsuri'08: Yokan Die (dir en grey)
EOY'08: Nataku (X-1999)
--> Arachne (Soul eater)
-->Shikieiki Yamazanadu (Touhou)
-->Kyo (fruit Basket)
-->Nunchaku (Turks)
-->Michiru (Sailor Neptune) School Uniform (Sailormoon full team)
--> Macabre Die (Dir en grey)
AFA'09: Nirvana with Saku as Carl (BlazBlue)
EOY'09: Kasuga-alternate (Sengoku Basara 2)
--> Tasuki (Fushigi Yuugi)
Cosfest'10: Nouhime (Samurai Warrior 3)
AFA'10: Lightning (FFXIII)

Could not think of an appropriate title, so name it with what i felt.

This week is an eventful week for the family, the death of my Sister-in law have bought the whole family together, to support my brother. My brother have accept it and remain strong by the understanding of the Buddhist teaching of life and death. I have never seen my brother broke down before, therefore its very heart wrenching. I have also never seen my brother compromise and giving in so much, to conditions that deny his status as a husband, but he gave in because he wants his wife to leave peacefully. My Sister-in law has died from cause of Cancer.

The in-laws stated to my mum that for the good of my bro's future, they would treat that their daughter was not officially married to our family as there's no Chinese customary. Throughout the funeral, my bro was not given a position as a husband to stand at the family side for praying and the final send off. During the funeral, I heard alot of questioning on my brother's status, and he seem like an extra (infact, the whole family seem like extras). My bro's wife elder sis only intro my bro as her sister's ROM husband, and not in-laws since they have not gone through the customary yet. From the Law side of view, having gone through ROM is officially husband and wife. One can give birth and register under the lawful couple's name, but can it be done with just Chinese customary? From the final days onwards i have been hearing from the in-laws side that they dont want to be selfish by making my bro hold on to the husband status, they have been suggesting that my bro register back as singlehood and have been trying to ignore the fact that my brother is the husband. I'm glad that my brother has been proactively making himself involve. He did this as a husband and a responsibility to send his wife off up till the last day.

Throughout the 4 days in funeral, i have been personally felt the dislike from the Sister, AND i also dislike her alot, from seeing her denying my bro's status and taking away the credits of the comforts my bro has given to his wife. After the last breathe, my bro is also not being contacted straight away (yes, he did not see her last breathe, her breathing stop shortly after my bro went off from the last visit and he was not contact immediately), the in-laws only replied my mum's greeting message like 2 hours after that. My bro stayed at the funeral for a large portion of time except for coming home for sleep and bath, he has been running through and fro Yishun and Changi, but its all being taken for granted. Personally i just felt she is very fake, very very fake, some more she's a social worker. If a social worker cant even relate herself to my bro's feeling, for the lost of his wife, how can she show that she can relate herself to other people's happening and counsel them? She has lost a sister, so the more she can understand my bro's lost too, I really cannot understand how when all these are happening, she can still did this to my bro, for the sake of not wanting to hold back my bro's future? I think they have to give respect to my bro's decision and to give respect to his wife as his wife. A woman being married to her love, would not want her husband to be unrecognized and not accepted in the family, denying her husband would make her happier in her grave? (roll eye)

Its quite bad to say, but throughout the process I felt like watching a stage play and great speech. I really question about their character. The sister, she's also has a ROM husband, and he stand in the family line instead of my bro during the ceremony (her husband also only ROM, no chinese customary, so in what position has he got in compared to my bro?) Since she's also ROM(yes with caplock), she should understand her status and all the more her sister and my bro. Since she's in love with her husband, she should also know the fruits of my bro and his wife's love. I think that's so much she can do as a social worker, she cant relate, cant feel, she can only practice what she learn in her school (that's why she have to go learn cos she's nuts on it).

I hope all these really ends after all, I hate getting involve with this kind of people, even my bro, he has much lower limit then I, but he really did very well throughout the process. He did it with love and respect for his wife, and I hope this pure love would last long and became a new strength for him.

For the pathetic being, just wish her all the best in her relationship and she should go study more for her social work and counselling as it definitely shows that she does not have the qualities and she did not study enough on her part.

what are llama badges for?

Happy New Year to all XD

its a year since my last journal post XDDDD so now is 2010, so this year make 10 resolution? hmmm......since like having more and more things that i cant accomplish le ^^'' let see what i've accomplish this year :

1)revamp my bedroom (as soon as my sis move out XDDD)- my sis havent move out yet ^^'

2)save $2 everyday since i fail at saving $200 every month T-T - i end up spending it in the HK trip XDDDD

3)Boost up my order intake - that means stop procrastinating and work harder!!!!!

4)related to 3) - convert current freelance to full time. - erm, i found a full time job instead ^^'

5)Buy PS3 (this is temptation T-T) - havent!!!!~~~~ no money >_____<

6)top up cpf everymonth - .......

7)Be more patience, control my quick temper (wo yao zhuo hao ren!!!!) - still working hard

8)hmm hmmm.....must go comic fiesta!!!! - suan le suan le

9)hahaha, number 9 like anyhow hamtam one cos flipper say must have 9!!! Alright, cancel starhub line, and get a new phone! Starhub sucks!!!! - in the end i still carry on for 2 more years of contract -.-

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so i didnt really achieve anything -____- blah~~~~ok, dont think bout the cannot make it year liao, have to make some new resolution, hope this year can make it XD so according to flipper, this year got to make 10 mah? ^^'

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2010:

1)carry on from 2009, revamp my room when my sis move to her new home. Now deciding what theme i want, been thinking of Jap tradition theme, modern Baroque, whimsical Victorian style or all white hmmmm......

2)work hard on my job, hope I can stay in the job for 1 full year and carry on as long as i can ^^

3)save up and travel more ^^

4)clear as much as possible on my cosplay wish list XD

5)carry on my temper taming ^^''''

6)find a life partner (i'm not young already......)

7)

8)

9)

10)

the rest havent think haha ^^'' hope all the above can be realise in this new year ^^ ganbatte everyone!!! Happy New Year~~~~ XD